black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Bob Hope

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Italian
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
BOB HOPE

Country Courage Devotion Discomfort Face Good Hate Humor More
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE

Golf Painting President
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous Old
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE

Christmas Holiday Old Fashioned Xmas

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes