I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPEKids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE -
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE -
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE -
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE -
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE -
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE