I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPEI’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE