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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

Bob Hope

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

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