US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPEThe trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
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Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE