Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPEThe trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
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Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE