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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.

Bob Hope

That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE

Dies Golf Pain Swings
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting

Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.

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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes