My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPEMy secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPEMy next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPEA Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPEAt the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPENow that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPEPebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPEGolf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPEA sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPEI always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPEKissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPERock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPEI’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPEHappiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPEThe trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPEBy the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPEA James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE