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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

Bob Hope

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPE

Day Next People See Sold Television
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex

I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

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Popular Authors

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