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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

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Popular Authors

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