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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

Bob Hope

I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPE

Day Next People See Sold Television
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People

We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

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Popular Authors

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