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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

Bob Hope

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE

Baseball Character Kids Personal Plot Side
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping

We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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