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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

Bob Hope

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes

We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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