The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPEAll British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
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In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE