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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

Bob Hope

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

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Popular Authors

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