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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.

Bob Hope

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks

I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.

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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.

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