The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPEBigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
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It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
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I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE