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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bob Hope

I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

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