I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPEDid you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE -
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE -
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE -
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE -
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE -
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE -
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE -
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE -
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE -
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE -
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE -
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE -
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE -
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE -
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE