Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPEDid you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE -
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE