black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.

Bob Hope

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE

Music Names Personality Play
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE

Baseball Character Kids Personal Plot Side
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes