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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

Bob Hope

There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
BOB HOPE

Courses Decide Golf Play Spring
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

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Popular Authors

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