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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

Bob Hope

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE

Baseball Character Kids Personal Plot Side
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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