Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPEJimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE -
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE -
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE -
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE -
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE -
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE -
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE -
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE -
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE -
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE







