Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPEEighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE