If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPEEighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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