Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPEEighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE -
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE -
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE -
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE -
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE -
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE -
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE -
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE -
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE