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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
BOB HOPE

Arrive Giving Ideas Still Two
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

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Popular Authors

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