It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHERDenying racism is the new racism.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHER