When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHERDenying racism is the new racism.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER