America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
More Bill Maher Quotes
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER -
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER -
In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHER -
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER -
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
BILL MAHER -
God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
BILL MAHER -
Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
BILL MAHER -
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
BILL MAHER -
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER -
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER -
I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
BILL MAHER -
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER