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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

Bill Cosby

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.
BILL COSBY

Carry Weapon Yourself
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
BILL COSBY

Deep Empty Philosophy Yourself
Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
BILL COSBY

Deep Hear Thinking Voice Woman Yourself
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
BILL COSBY

Carry Children End Funny Name
Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
BILL COSBY

Lips Yourself
Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.
BILL COSBY

Intellectual Nature People
Only stupid one’s.
BILL COSBY

One Liner Stupidity
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Afraid Decision Inspirational
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
BILL COSBY

Funny Future God Hope
I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
BILL COSBY

Myself World Yourself
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
BILL COSBY

Beautiful Children Love People Sex
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBY

Father Funny Love Present
In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.
BILL COSBY

Advice Book Children Discipline Father Mother Mystery Right
That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
BILL COSBY

Body Philosophy Science
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
BILL COSBY

Forgiveness Imagination Move On People Yourself
Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.
BILL COSBY

Justice Parents Peace Quiet

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

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