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I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBY

Empty Herself Moments Myself Philosophy
Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
BILL COSBY

Myself Talk
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
BILL COSBY

Advice Necessary Stupidity Wisdom Word
Gray hair is gods graffiti.
BILL COSBY

Art God Hairs One Liner
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
BILL COSBY

Children Goodness Ideas Myself Reality Reason Time
Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
BILL COSBY

Deep Hear Thinking Voice Woman Yourself
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
BILL COSBY

Death Himself See Voice Yourself
Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
BILL COSBY

Lips Yourself
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
BILL COSBY

Forgiveness Imagination Move On People Yourself
I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.
BILL COSBY

Black Grow Up Myself
Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
BILL COSBY

Children Home Human
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
BILL COSBY

Eat Myself Pieces
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
BILL COSBY

Deep Empty Philosophy Yourself
The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
BILL COSBY

Dream Future Inspirational Past
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
BILL COSBY

Children End Friendship Myself Play
You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
BILL COSBY

Genius Marriage Yourself

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

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I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

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