I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBYI don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
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A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
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Gray hair is gods graffiti.
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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
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And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
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Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
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People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
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I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
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The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
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You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
BILL COSBY