Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEYThis shed does not contain me.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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This shed does not contain me.
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
BILL BAILEY