Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
BILL BAILEYRelaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
BILL BAILEY