If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
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A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
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I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
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I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY -
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY