If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
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I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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Being kind is more important than being right.
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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
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I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
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If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY