Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEYI had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
-
-
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY -
You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
ANDY ROONEY -
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY -
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
ANDY ROONEY -
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY -
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY -
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY -
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY -
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY -
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY