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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

Andy Rooney

Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY

Advice Cook Himself Meat
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY

Desire Fear Lonely Privacy
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY

End Fast Learning Myself Paper
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY

Focus Interest Perspective Poor Rich
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Easy Need Work
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness People Time
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Cook Eat Food Yourself
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Food Man Reality
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY

Conservatism Liberal Nice People Religious
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY

Children Gift Learning Myself
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Probability Time Wrong Yourself
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEY

Country Hate Loud Patriot People

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

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