“If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.”

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.

In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.

Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!

It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.

You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.

Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Dogs are the closest we come to knowing the divine love of God on this side of eternity.

They say a blind hog will find the acorn one day.

I had no immediate knowledge of the world of Batman at all. I’m quite incubated. I just keep myself to myself and my dog.

They enjoyed the miracle of loving each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out old people they kept on blooming like children and playing together like dogs.

I was bit by a dog when I was two years old, and it almost mauled my face. It almost killed and/or blinded me. I was this close to dying at two, which is terrible. I survived it, and there was no head trauma or anything like that. Honestly, it was a miracle.

This dog. Is possibly the dumbest dog in the world. I’ve had him for 2 years since today He’s been my boo ever since.

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Treat ’em like dogs, and you’ll have dogs’ works and dogs’ actions. Treat ’em like men, and you’ll have men’s works.