Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCEIn each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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