Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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