The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCEAbsurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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