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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

Ambrose Bierce

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fall Hard Himself Man
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Machine Technology Transformation
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE

God Place Teaching War
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disappointment Perspective Time
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Human Limitation Reason Thinking Understand
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fact Imagination Lying Poet
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Life Missing Spiritual
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fact Himself Mindset Mysterious Nature
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Angry Best Regret Talk Yourself
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Governement Party Prevent Rival Run
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Election Good Stolen
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Affair Assurance Future Happiness Prosperity Time

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

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Popular Authors

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