That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KINGIf you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
More Alan King Quotes
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING






