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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

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Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want

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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Attack Fun Make Somebody
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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Bigotry Father First Oppression Read Talk Think Time
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Give Interview Know Poor Start Until
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Great New Older Thing Year
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Being Bird Come Early Gonna Mind Sixty-five Special Tell
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Any Believe More Nobody Trust
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING

Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want

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