For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KINGIf you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
More Alan King Quotes
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING -
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING -
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING -
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING -
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING -
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING -
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING -
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING