That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KINGBut in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
More Alan King Quotes
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KING