Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KINGMy lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
More Alan King Quotes
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING