black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”

Related Topics

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING

Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING

Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING

Go Kitchen Mother never Other Pot Room Saw
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KING

Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING

Ability Behave Fun Make Society Watch
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING

Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KING

Accident Car Cousin Eighty Kill Male Mother One Raise Sister Six Trolley
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING

Amazing Away Call Comedy Get Hard Laugh Once Turn
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING

Always Birthday Joke Me Such Time
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING

Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING

Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING

Atom Think Expense Great Humor Someone Something

Copyright: 2020 - 2023 | Minimalist Quotes