That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KINGYou know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
More Alan King Quotes
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING