One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KINGYou know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING -
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING -
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING -
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING -
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING -
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING -
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KING -
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING -
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KING -
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING






