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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

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Get Good Know Look Old People Tell

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Again Apple Cloudy Drank Faint Juice Little Morning Nurse One Pour Run Specimen Tube
I was a high school throw-out.
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High Out School Throw
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING

Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING

All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Dictator Full Life Little Run Try World
The other day my house caught fire.
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Caught Day Fire House Other
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING

Attack Fun Make Somebody
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Give Interview Know Poor Start Until
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Better Father Parent
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING

Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING

Better Eat Much Other People Sex Some Special Talent Take Than Way
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING

Father Help Leave Not True
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING

Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through

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