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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.

Alan King

I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING

Armor Eat Place Suit
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING

Better Father Parent
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING

Carnegie Hall Have Made Practice
Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KING

Back Ball Been Fifty Laugh Listen Love People Theatre Villian Year
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING

Always Birthday Joke Me Such Time
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING

Fight Keep Marriage Nature Stranger Way
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING

Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING

Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING

Father Help Leave Not True
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING

Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING

Alongside Dictionary Milton Party Took Tremendous Vaudeville
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING

Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING

Ability Audience Comedy Identity never Say Son Story Tell
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING

Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING

Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.

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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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