When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KINGMarriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
More Alan King Quotes
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING