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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

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Fight Keep Marriage Nature Stranger Way

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING

Ability Audience Comedy Identity never Say Son Story Tell
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING

Being Bird Come Early Gonna Mind Sixty-five Special Tell
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING

Caught Day Fire House Other
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING

Dictator Full Life Little Run Try World
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING

Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING

Attack Fun Make Somebody
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING

All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING

Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING

Give Interview Know Poor Start Until
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING

Allow Being Comeback Easy Father
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING

Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KING

Accident Car Cousin Eighty Kill Male Mother One Raise Sister Six Trolley
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING

Father Help Leave Not True

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