My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KINGMarriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
More Alan King Quotes
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING