You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KINGMy son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KING -
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING -
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING