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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

Alan King

As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING

Better Father Parent
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING

Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING

Modesty One Virtue
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING

Allow Being Comeback Easy Father
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING

Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING

Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING

Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING

Egg Except Food Life Only Pleasure Salami Second Sex
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING

Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KING

Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING

Carnegie Hall Have Made Practice
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING

Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told

There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

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