And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KINGThere’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
More Alan King Quotes
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING