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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.

Alan King

Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING

Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING

Armor Eat Place Suit
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING

Bigotry Father First Oppression Read Talk Think Time
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING

Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING

Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING

Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING

Fight Keep Marriage Nature Stranger Way
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING

Go Kitchen Mother never Other Pot Room Saw
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING

Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KING

Grub Hypochondriac Miser Money Worrywart
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING

All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING

Father Help Leave Not True
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection

I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.

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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Alan King Quotes