I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLAThe very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
ADAM CAROLLA