I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLAI could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
ADAM CAROLLA