If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLAYou have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLA






