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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

Adam Carolla

Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aware Get Getting Laid Over Thing
If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLA

Conservative Hollywood Need People Place
People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA

Dumb People Stuff Stupid Successful
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beautiful Beauty Definition Miracle Outside Profession
The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
ADAM CAROLLA

Compelling Good Host Podcast
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA

Backyard Blond Country Evil Gardner Harder Kibble Lob Molly More
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
ADAM CAROLLA

Amount Art Get Joke Naked People Probably Reality Standing Telling Thinking
I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA

Funny Humor Month Potentially Really Trying Two Week
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crazy Funny House Lonely Ratio Roof Someone Talk
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA

Acclimate Anything Funny Kid
. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Bless Country Dancing Floor God Man Star Win Woman Wooden
You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Cruise Feeling Good Internet Name Walk
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bed Difficulty Honestly Kind Relaxing Stuff
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLA

Air Conservative Country People Place Stories Story Use
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLA

Like Performing Radio Stuff Television Watching

You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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