That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
ADAM CAROLLAYou have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLA






