I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA