If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLAJunior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I get depressed at airports.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
ADAM CAROLLA






