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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

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Ashtray College High Junior School

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking
If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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Conservative Hollywood Need People Place
I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Care Connection Country Hollywood Protection
If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Act Boom Country Driven Gay Golf Real Rule Section Value
I get depressed at airports.
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Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy
No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Comedian Comedy Enjoy Fun Read Reader
The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Book Creative Reading Teliviosn Truth Watching
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crocs Down Gay Look Realize Wearing
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA

Everyone Fiscally Hollywood Leaving Republican Shoot Thinking
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
ADAM CAROLLA

Breed Cat Certain Like People Performing Radio Stuff Television
I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Best Each Friend Man Men Other Sex Spouse Thinking Tolerate Wife
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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Christmas Country Dad Feel Instantly Kid Wrong
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Explore Figure Funny Humor Nap Out
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Dude Funny More Reason Why
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
ADAM CAROLLA

Audience Monetization Really Secondary Thinking

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