People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLAThey advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA