I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLAThey advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
ADAM CAROLLA