People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLAI know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
ADAM CAROLLA