I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLAToss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLA