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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

Adam Carolla

We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Always Country Going Gone See Want
. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Bless Country Dancing Floor God Man Star Win Woman Wooden
So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA

Admit Bringing Courage God Keep People Suppress
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA

Government Kind Mom Occasional Participated Welfare
My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLA

History Less Motto Mystery Reveal Suspense
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
ADAM CAROLLA

Amount Art Get Joke Naked People Probably Reality Standing Telling Thinking
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
ADAM CAROLLA

Base Funny Include Kind King Revise Sex Sexual Sexy
When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Excitement Express Knowledge Radio Show Yourself
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crocs Down Gay Look Realize Wearing
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
ADAM CAROLLA

Challenge Funnier Morning Reason Water
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Money Myself Plenty Want Working
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Daughter Dude Fire Funny Mother Reason
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Guy Mean Money People Successful Thinking
People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLA

College Look People Smart White
I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLA

Finished Funny Humor Masturbatory Pizza Session Two
I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ability Field Healthcare Playing Right Thinking Work

Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

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Popular Authors

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