Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLAI think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
ADAM CAROLLA