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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

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Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLA

Annoyed Feel Like Time Travel Traveler
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Ashtray College High Junior School
Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Any Form Over Shape Taking Talk Way Weird
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Equivalent Fat Giving Government Morning Overwhelmed People Person Sending
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Alter Behaviors Good Help Incentive Shop Tell
I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Calm Fine Natural Real Realist Sexist Simple
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Chick Daughter Dude Fire Funny Mother Reason
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Money Myself Plenty Want Working
All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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All Funny Humor Middle Nothing Really Want
My first car was a motorcycle.
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Buy Car First Mine Motorcycle Vehicles
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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Christmas Country Dad Feel Instantly Kid Wrong
I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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Democrat Democratic Republican Used
Don’t do your best, do my best.
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Advice Best Force Mine Order Question Work
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Funny Humor never Next One Thought Two
I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Car Guy Hammer Nut Sort Swinging Turning Wrenching

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