I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLAAsking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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