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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

Adam Carolla

I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLA

Angry Comically Complaining Laughing People Start
If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLA

Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking
When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agent Back Country Feet Gonna Mountain Power Sterilizing
I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Attempted Comedy Good Stand Up Very
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bridge Built Done Meant Women
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Feel Instantly Kid Wrong
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA

Alter Behaviors Good Help Incentive Shop Tell
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Dude Funny More Reason Why
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
ADAM CAROLLA

Dad Dollar Funny Humor Knowledge Raise Share Sister
I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA

Democrat Democratic Republican Used
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
ADAM CAROLLA

Country Dude Enough Funny Joy People Television Thinking
You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA

Anything Eating Funny Humor Microwave Six Take
My first car was a motorcycle.
ADAM CAROLLA

Buy Car First Mine Motorcycle Vehicles
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bird Human Remain Size Street Tax
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
ADAM CAROLLA

Enough Good Hurt Hurting Interesting Nice Parent People
Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLA

Buc Focus Made Making Nickle Saving

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

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