I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLAOprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA






