The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
ADAM CAROLLAOprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
ADAM CAROLLA -
Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA -
And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLA -
No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLA -
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLA






